Excerpt from my book
The Shut Up Book
A 40 day Biblical Approach to Controlling Your Mouth
1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I used to speak as a child…
It’s so easy to fall back to that screaming, yelling, and pouting kid we used to be. When an argument starts, when we feel pushed into a corner, it becomes a time travel trip to elementary school days. We revert to silly childlike things like name-calling, put downs, whining and yelling. Somebody throws a temper tantrum, somebody stomps their feet and somebody gets mad and picks up their toys and goes home. In the middle of all this somebody even says, “You’re acting just like children” the quote that mom or dad or grandma said a thousand years ago. And frankly you are acting just like a child. So everybody goes away and sulks. If they come to their senses and think in a mature way about what just happened they feel pretty silly about how things turned out. When you were a child you acted like one you are not a child anymore. So what is the mature adult response to what is going on?
Here are a few possibilities.
- Pause, count to 10, count to 100 if you have to before jumping in to any argument or disagreement.
- Count the cost. Is it worth your two cents to get involved?
- If you’re going to get involve think before you speak. Weigh your words. Sometimes words come out that you didn’t really mean.
- Understand that no one wins in most of these arguments. Agree to disagree might be the best option from the start.
- Know that there is a point of no return, when people will be hurt and friendships lost. Be aware of that point and walk away before you get there.