Blended Families and the Holidays

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photo: Mei Teng

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Surviving the Holidays as a Blended Family

Many families are trying to deal with the Holidays as blended families. Peace on earth sometimes falls to the wayside when dealing with the needs and desires of more than one family. Here are some hints that might help with the distractions of blending two or more families during this time of joy.

1. Remember the season is about children and the child in you. Recall how you looked forward to the holidays as a child. Kids want and enjoy spending this time with both parents. Allow for that time. Create your own holiday traditions that your kids will look forward to and remember. Allow for and support the traditions of the other family too.

2. Communicate with your ex. Coordinate your schedule way in advance so there won’t be hassles. Make sure you don’t duplicate gifts and pool your finances on any big presents. Please don’t try to outdo your ex to gain your kid’s favor. Christmas is a season and doesn’t have to be on the day. Celebrate your time with the kids.

3. Stop the animosity, at least for the season. Declare a truce for the kid’s and your sake. It is what the season is all about. Don’t feel jealous if your kids have a good time with your ex. You want them to have fond memories of the holidays and they can have them with both families. They need to feel happy and loved in both of your homes. Don’t begrudge them that opportunity

4. Take care of yourself during the holidays. Get enough sleep, eat wisely and take time to rest. Step away from the stress that this time of year can bring.

5. You have a choice in this whole matter. You can choose to make this a time of fond memories and the joy of the season. Or you can choose to make the lives of your children miserable. Choose for the good despite any baggage you may be carrying toward your ex and your circumstances. Don’t be the Grinch that stole Christmas.

6. Remember who the season is all about.

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