Make Time for What Really Counts This Holiday Season
We all have a tendency to go overboard every Christmas season. No matter what we tell ourselves beforehand, we always tend to go one or two steps over the line in our holiday purchases. It is sad that the holiday buying season and the pressure to buy seems to have come even earlier this year.
The advertisements want us to believe that the gifts we give will somehow prove our love and devotion for family and friends. The problem is that we have generally bought into that same idea. In our minds it goes something like this, “The more stuff I buy for you the more you will know that I love you and care for you”.
- Buying a person’s love and affection…
Please understand this, buying a person’s love and affection with “stuff” is so far from the truth in any healthy relationship. If your spouse, children, or friends are in this relationship with you just for the gifts you’re in real trouble and need to have some serious discussions with yourself and your loved ones. Yes, the kids will love the gifts on Christmas morning but those gifts don’t replace the love you provide by being there and caring for them.
- Quality Time…
Quality time is the key to any relationship and it is the greatest gift any of us could give in this crazy world that demands so much from us. The holiday season is so much more than getting or giving.
Quality time means no agenda, no stuff “to do”, just being with one another. Sitting still and having a genuine conversation with friends and relatives is the real stuff of the holidays. That might mean putting down the smart phones and looking into one another’s faces and really talking.
This time of year is meant to build memories. You can’t buy memories. You make those memories by investing yourself in intimate sharing and conversations.
- Holiday Traditions…
Do you have holiday traditions? If you do have special family traditions continue them afresh this year. I know it’s a hassle every year but get out the decorations, put on the holiday music, get out the photo albums and rekindle the memories and make new ones.
If you don’t have traditions, start some. Make, and share a favorite recipe, read a favorite Christmas story together, carol through the neighborhood, watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” again for the umpteenth time or play some of those old fashioned board games. How about sharing the joy of the season by involving the family in some local charity drive that is providing for those in need of holiday cheer?
The important thing…
Make the festivities of the holidays the most important thing this holiday season. The gifts always should have been secondary, anyway, to your friendships. The stuff falls apart, has to be returned and most times is forgotten in time, however the shared moments will last forever.
This year maybe you really can’t afford the stuff, that’s ok. However, what you can’t afford to miss is the gift of time with your family this year. Make your investment in great memories this holiday season. The only real expense is the time you give.
- Note to Husbands
*** Note of warning to husbands don’t use this article as an excuse for not getting her a present. A well thought out gift is still important. She doesn’t want the world and you can’t afford it anyway. She wants your attention.
- It’s tough sometimes during the Holidays. If you want to talk give me a call, email me or write me at this blog.
Frank Walker LMFT
1617 Main Street
Cambria, Ca 93428